Monday, April 24, 2017

Lenten Let Down

On Maundy Thursday while gathered in the Nave (often called the Well) of the Cathedral a woman walking down the stairs slipped and came to meet her friends on to the hard unforgiving stone floor. People closest to her helped her up and into a chair and verger went to fetch her a glass of water, upon his return, he almost fell on the same steps. While all this was happening parishioners should have been focused on the reading from what I think was the Gospel of John but to be honest I can't recall which of the Gospels or what was read. Instead, I was distracted by the commotion and thinking, "this is exactly how all of Lent has gone."

Lent and Holy Week are probably my favorite time in the church. Some may find this to be odd, or to be some sort of spiritual masochism but I find that during Lent we can truly dig deep to find how to enact God's will in our lives and the world. Except for this Lent. This Lent has flown by and I feel I haven't had a chance to catch up to what I was supposed to be doing. I attempted not to eat out for the entirety of lent and to spend at least 2 days meat free, that didn't last and I feel just somehow lacking. This is not some failing of the church here in Liverpool, I am provided with numerous opportunities for spiritual growth and renewal, prayer and study. My job is no more taxing than any other I have had and even less than when I was in graduate school. Also, I probably have more pastoral support available to me than any other time in my life. In my row of houses there are at least 3 vicars and at 3 or 4 down another row. My normal Lenten experience just didn't happen. 

I don't know if this is necessarily even a bad thing. It may be that I will experience another festival or season in the church in a way that I never have before. Pentecost may bring with it some revelation or spiritual deepening. It may also be that this year's spiritual growth is slower moving and yet to take a form I recognize yet and only in reflection can it be found. 

Mostly though I want to let you know that if your Lent has not gone the way you expected however that happened for you. It's ok, let's just see what comes next. 

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